I spent Tuesday hard at work at one of the local government buildings. I parked in the basement of the building, and I found the following admonishment. My high school teachers always told me about the importance of proper punctuation, but I never believed them. However, it seems that something as inoucuous as a misplaced apostrophe will thwart the best of intentions. Even worse, both of the adjacent spaces remain vacant, almost spitefully so.

Day 1 - 8/17

Like any self-respecting narcissist, I elected to stay home this evening and type away at my vanity blog.

I just finished up my AK trip last week. When I arrived back in Washington, current events had the town a twitter. Alberto Gonzalez resigned. A congressman, known for sitting on his throne and criticizing homosexuals, received his cumupance.

As an antidote for these trying times I offer everyone a blow by blow of my trip. I will chronicle each day of my trip over the next week and a half.

DAY 1, August 17, 2007

Thursday
I had a relatively uneventful first day. My plan didn't leave until 12:50, so I decided to lug my pack down to Columbia Heights Coffee and have a cup of coffee and blueberry muffin. On my way over, on of my backpack's straps broke of. Not exactly the most auspicious beginning, but not the most exciting either. I spent several hours in the Detroit airport and had the pleasure of eating a burrito that smelled like garbage. I also picked up a copy of Into the Wild, a book about a kid that ran away to live in the woods of Alaska. Turns out he died right along my proposed hiking route. Talk about serendipity.

I didn't actually make it to Anchorage until about 11PM (2AM EST) local time. Given my state of fatigue I couldn't really pay attention to the scenery. Luckily, the driver of the hotel van fancied himself a tour guide. He turned a 15 minute drive into a 40 minute jaunt around downtown Anchorage. I saw the street with all the bars, a transit center, the Nordstroms (if I needed to "do a little shopping before my camping trip"), the new federal building, Spinard Rd. (which incidently used to be the way one drove to and from downtown to the airport), and a ton of other neat sites. I was really glad to get the late night tour because my train left at 8am, and I didn't think I'd get a chance to see all that in the morning.

Go North Young Bureaucrat

The north beckons, and I must answer her siren song. Tomorrow I depart for Alaska.

Masturblogtion

I long ago arrived at the conclusion that blogs satisfy little more than our belletristic, mastrubatory fantasies. After doing a little research on the internets I have confirmed this hypothesis.



Any young blogeaucrat can substitute blog for the appropriate genital reference and have a reasonable facsimile of any number of conversations about blogs...

"my blog isn't getting enough action"
"why is your blog so much bigger"
"how often do you play with your blog"
"sometimes I write on my blog all alone. I feel guilty about my narcissism, but it feels good. I'll stop for a while, but then I feel the urge again."

So all you bloggers, rejoice in your ability to pleasure yourself with just a touch of your fingers on the keypad...

And keep arguing with yourself.

Metro - Government InAction

The Washington Post ran an article yesterday on the commuter's continued frustration with individuals standing on the left on the escalator. Metro, hearing its customers complaints, has recorded new announcements to play over its PA.

Why, you ask, are there no signs?

Nonetheless, the agency has resisted promoting the
"walk left, stand right" standard because escalators
-- unlike their cousins, moving walkways -- are not
designed for walkers. The agency also wants to cut
down on riders who race through stations. Thus, the
announcement does not encourage people to walk on the
left, although that's common practice at Metro and
just about every other transit system in the world.

Metro also does not post signs advising riders where
to stand. Agency officials said they are prohibited
from putting up "Stand to the Right" signs because the
national safety code for elevators and escalators does
not allow non-cautionary signs to be posted within 10
feet of an escalator.

That's right, there is a bureaucrat out there somewhere that is rating national code on elevator and escalator safety. Not manufacturing or building codes mind you, but signage. Go us... the bureaucrats I mean.

Clifford the Big Red Dawg

Due to controversy surrounding his announcement as "Bureaucrat of the Day," I have pulled Mr. Janey's photo from the blog. A russian bureaucrat has replaced him. I'm not sure who will replace him, but I tasked him with drafting a five-year plan to identify his replacement. In the meantime enjoy Alexey Popov, Bureaucrat of the Day.

More Bear Related Research

The latest lesson I've learned about bears: don't video tape them eating bread. Now video taping them is fine, and feeding them bread is fine. However, the two together constitute a recipe for disaster.