After exhaustive research I have confirmed that... Yes, Christina Aguilera smells like hotdogs. I heard through a close friend that a friend of his went to middle school with Ms. Aguilera. According to this friend of a friend Ms. Aguilera received tough love for both her Mickey Mouse Club membership and her meat-based musk.
Initially I was skeptical. Friends of friends are not the most reliable sources, and Baconian connections of the third degree are less than concrete. However, breaking this story and the attendent journalistic showboating and hotdogging that could follow was too much to resist. Five backbreaking minutes of research unearthed multiple internet-based sources...
http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/2006/07/lindsay-lohan-gets-dehydrated.html
Relavent text...
"Justin Timberlake is fine, he just has an icky girlfriend. Christina...not so much. Just because she plays dress up like Marilyn Monroe, doesnt make her fine now...remember dirrty? That was not so long ago. My friend Jen went to her school...she always smelled like hotdogs. Gross. "
and
http://forum.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=messageboard.viewThread&entryID=22529095&groupID=100044587&adTopicID=21&Mytoken=0AC2048D-04A1-4876-8CEC29D71E20C5B324435191
On a related not, there are some that believe Ms. Aguilera's skin has the color and texture of a Dollar General hotdog...
http://seriouslyomgwtf.blogsome.com/2007/01/05/christina-aguilera-shows-female-celebs-how-to-get-out-a-car-in-a-short-dress/
I believe two primary sources are enough to get me into a peer reviewed journal. Oh well that was way to much effort. I have to get back to pushing papers around. Although with all the paper cuts on my fingertips, I may have to take a break.
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8 comments:
I like hot dogs.
S.B.,
I feel compelled to report that the vast majority of residents in Pittsburgh's North Hills carry the aroma of Kielbasa. This is not what makes Ms. Aguilara special; but, special she is. I will never forget hearing Xtina's sweet voice pay tribute to these United States prior to several Steeler games. Seeing her tube-steak frame wrapped in a Jerome Bettis jersey, hearing her belt out "Oh say can you see!", that was enough to make even this most hardened Pinko feel oh so patriotic.
Yours,
100 year soft rash
by the way, congrats for starting this vanity blog/myspace page, and i hope you are preparing a possible release to properly welcome you into the Cowboyschool family.
Thank you. I will be releasing an unspoken word album soon. Right now I'm shopping it around to labels. Is Cowboyschool interested?
Where can we download your .mp3 or stream site zip drive or .wav?
Where can we download your .mp3 or stream site zip drive or .wav?
Where can I download an .mp3, .wav or zip to get a sample of what you are doing?
I don't know how I just posted 4 comments in a row... sorry.
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